Bad luck comes in threes…

      I’ve heard that bad luck comes in threes. I just didn’t want this to be the third..
      Yesterday I made the final decision to put my first cat Muffin to sleep. (I got her 18 yrs ago when I was in the 4th grade.)
      For quite a while now Muffin had been getting thinner and thinner. She doesn’t eat much. Even then sometimes she throws it back up or has loose bowels.
      My parents are leaving, as I am, to my brother’s wedding this weekend. They’ll be gone 5 days. They worried that by the time they got back, Muffin would already be dead.
      So when my mom first told me all this on Sunday night, I had to decide if I wanted her buried or cremated. Among all my tears and sobs, I had to make a decision I have been dreading for years.
      When I was last at my parents house before my move to Georgia, I hugged Muffin and said my goodbyes then. I knew I would probably not see her again. I thought that would help heal my pain. But it didn’t. I wish I could be there now, today, when she finally gets put to sleep.
      I had decided it was best to put her to sleep and end her suffering. Muffin isn’t getting any better. Also we wouldn’t be wondering if she’d still be alive when my parents returned home.
      I also decided to have her cremated. I had promised Muffin that I would show her my first house years ago. I had to break my promise because by the time I was about to move into this house, Muffin had gone deaf and she was already starting to get thin then. At least up in CT she had a home she knew and a vet who knew her. I figured that was for the best for her. But if I had known it would be less than a yr later that this would happen.. I may have thought twice about it. So anyway I figure this way I can bring Muffin’s ashes to my house, give her a spot in it, and keep my promise to her.

      This whole thing has wracked my emotional well-being all week long, like giant waves crashing into a cliff. I’ve been sleeping poorly, and my work is starting to be affected by it all. I’m having a difficult time keeping tears at bay.
      The worst part is that Muffin has been holding on all this time. I wonder if maybe she thought I was coming back home. She always did follow me around the house and outside the house. If I was crying she came up and comforted me, even if we were outside. She was my friend when I had none. Maybe if I came home she would have gone in her sleep, content.
      Yesterday while talking with my mom and making the final decision, Muffin was sitting in my mom’s lap. She put the phone to her and Muffin was purring. That just killed me right then and there. She has no idea what’s coming.

      There’s so much more I can say about this and about her, but unfortunately I have to head to work now. I just wanted to type something up about her before I knew she would be gone forever.