Goals for 2018?

Early evening outdoors with a lit latern, a drink, an open book and a pair of eyeglasses.

So I’ve already been reflecting for a while on what I would like to do for next year. The answer that keeps coming back is more self-care and more downtime.

I get up really early for work. Then I do my work which is really attention detailed. So when I get home I’m exhausted. Lately I have needed to make myself just rest in bed after I get home. Sometimes I take a nap. Sometimes I just relax lying there and listen to some soothing music. I’ve noticed when I don’t take this time, I just end up feeling worse and worse.

So I’ve been looking into apps like meditation, logging moods, and logging anything I’m grateful for. I’m also looking into some soothing music that I can listen to.

And yeah I have to admit to myself I may have to force myself to take care of myself. It’s not something that’s really innate for me. Growing up I got the wrong message that taking care of myself was being selfish and lazy. I had to spend my time working, helping out around the house, and having to take care of requests from others. Thus I lack the skills to self-sooth and self-tend. Even when I’m sick I feel bad that I’m resting and not being productive, even though I know my body needs rest so I can have the energy to be productive again. That attitude is not surprising to me. My mother’s philosophy when I was sick was that if I wasn’t vomiting or running a fever then I had to go to school or work no matter how miserable I felt. Taking time off is bad. Resting is bad. You’re not that ill. And so on.

I think I run on the hamster wheel of life a bit too much with being always on, always doing something. I need to help reteach myself that taking time to meditate, more downtime to read or listen to music, is also productive. It’s just productive in a different way. It’s okay and even good to take care of myself and it isn’t being selfish nor lazy.

So that’s my big goal to work on for the year. Relax, unwind, take care of me in healthy ways. It won’t be easy but it’s something I need and want to incorporate into my life. I need to be able to slow myself down and enjoy quiet moments. Also, I need to make sure I do take the time to do things like daily dental care, skin care, and so on. (Yes my current lack of self-care is both spiritual and physical.)

And sure there are other things I would like to do. I started crocheting a while back and stopped. I would like to try that again. I also want to get more into programming. And we’ll see if I can focus on those things, but it has to work itself into the overarching theme of not overdoing and overworking myself anymore. It’s time to focus on me, fulfilling my needs, and bringing more care and joy into my life.

Goals for 2015

Well besides the book goal there’s..

1. Go through my clothes. Donate what doesn’t fit and is still in good condition. Toss whatever is in bad condition.

This is something I’ve already started working on around Christmas time. I have a small closet in my office room that I went through and donated around 3 bags of clothes (kitchen trash bag size) and 1 backpack I no longer used. Then I moved on to the master bedroom closet, which is pretty big. There I tossed 6 bags of clothes. So a total of 9 bags so far and I’m still not done. A lot of them were clothes I’ve had for over 10 years. Yeah, I didn’t fit those anymore. Others were kinds of clothes I didn’t like wearing anymore, like turtlenecks and mock turtlenecks. Those necks I find eventually shrink and I’m always tugging at them. Not very good body language to display. 😛

I can afford to do this now because of my new job I got in April of last year. 1> The new job requires business dress clothes, where my previous job was casual dress. As such I can now go through my casual clothes and get rid of stuff since I wear casual clothing a lot less often now. Basically, I can afford for this part of my clothing to go lean right now. 2> I can actually budget for clothing now, where the past several years I couldn’t. These past several years clothing purchases were emergencies when clothing finally started wearing out on me.

So my office closet has been looked through. The master bedroom closet is done for the most part. (I’m down to plain tee shirts that I have to look at individually and try them on to see if they still fit). But next, I’ll be moving on to looking through my dressers. Also, there’s a pile of clothes in a plastic laundry basket that’s been sitting in the corner of the master bedroom for far too long. It’s time to rewash all that and go through the same process with them.

Also, all this work has allowed me to see what types of clothes I need to buy more of now. Right now that’s hoodies and zipped sweaters, long sleeve (collarless) shirts, and pajamas.

Read moreGoals for 2015